It is torturous to watch yourself slowly be forgotten while you are cursed with an incredible memory and can not forget, even when you try, try, try.

Its like being buried alive or drowning. Agony in a box; under the sea.

The question is: would I do it again? I have thought hard about that. Heart and hope dashed like scraps on a plate. Was it worth it? I'm not sure, but those stellar moments, those stellar moments haunt me as much as the pain. They come to me when I least expect them. They creep into my thoughts and they don't let go. They were good. I truly believe that.

I am probably delusional.

It was a struggle knowing that no one in your camp thought I was good enough for you. But something they don't know. You might find someone you love more. I can pretty much guarantee that, but you won't find someone who will love you as much as I did. Who got you the way I did.