Awake much earlier than I have to be...
After a quick trip to pee, hours before I have have to leave, I fall into a dream.
Lost in a cab, not sure why we were together, we had time to catch up.
Up and down Yonge, trying desperately to get further away, we leaned against the doors, talking.
I told you the news. You told me where you'd been.
And I woke.
Lying there I was bombarded
With thoughts of my past, my present, my future, I lay there.
Thoughts on what it is like to leave, to be left and to find.
Heartbreak to euphoria, how do you understand it? The reverse, not much better.
Like a racing car, hurtling down the speedway. And as fast as you go, there is always a crash just around that next bend. All you have to do is blink and you are stopped in your tracks. Concrete wall or no, you are done for. Heartbreak.
But you could run forever, weaving in and out. King of the road, overtaking every single car. Not a care that your heart couldn't laugh off with gusto.
But not racing? Not feeling that rush, failure an option always, but never taking the risk?
Watching from the bleachers as your friends play that game of tag, that race of a lifetime. As each tries their best and inevitably one drives the other into a wall.
Where are you then? Helpless, unprepared, yet totally aware.
