Swim until you can't see land...

Here is the list I thought I wouldn't do this year.

My Top 10 Albums of 2010 (alphabetically):

The Black Keys - Brothers
Broken Social Scene - Forgiveness Rock Record
Caribou - Swim
Frightened Rabbit - The Winter of Mixed Drinks
The Gaslight Anthem - American Slang
Land of Talk - Cloak and Cipher
The Morning Benders - Big Echo
The National - High Violet
PS I Love You - Meet Me At The Muster Station
Shout Out Louds - Work

Honourables:
Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
Beach House - Teen Dream
Daft Punk - Tron Legacy
The Hold Steady - Heaven is Whenever
The Roots - How I Got Over

52 Book Challenge...

So, as I am an idiot and a very slow reader I have decided to try to read one book per week this year.

This is going to be a record with short reviews. Counting down...

No cars go...

I wonder if I will ever figure out what will make me happy in my professional life. I am getting pretty sick and tired of waiting for that flash of insight that will tell me what I am supposed to do here. There are a bunch of things I know I would be good at, but getting to try them seems so daunting. I never seem to get any response to any applications I have ever submitted. I feel completely trapped in a unhappy rut bordered by huge walls of financial insecurity and indecision. If I hadn't been so contrary, so blasted indifferent when I was younger maybe I wouldn't be here. Maybe I wouldn't feel like I wasted 10 good years of my life.

I wonder if I will ever come to a time in my life that I can honestly say, 'I'm a success'. I don't know if it is me or just some crazy lack of pride, but I can't remember a time in my live that I have felt successful. Day in and day out it seems like my personal and work lives are just unmitigated disasters and I have to fight tooth and nail to get there.

Friend of a friend, you used to call...

I have lived in this house for all of my thirties.
And I have been left twice.
Left to find my way; to pick up the pieces and move on.
Inspite of that I grasp unto it like a drowning man.
I want it to mean something.
But right now it feels so empty.
I am fully aware that I am the Peter Pan of my peer group.
Floating high, untouched by responsibility.
But I am done.
I want to help people.
To have a family.
To be more then a uncle.

Never forget...

My uncle Gordon was on the ground in Korea. I have two great uncles/cousins who served in the Mediterranean during the First World War. I never got a chance to meet any of them.