Memories Pt. 3

Afternoon bike ride to High Park.

Down Lansdowne, over the Dundas bridge to Howard Park.

You stop. I go.

Traffic coming down Dundas. I was careless I guess. Didn't look down, just into your eyes. Could read it on your face before gravity took over. But your eyes told a different story.

My wheel jammed in streetcar tracks. Down I went. Elbow first, then shoulder... Wham! followed by head. Lucky I was wearing a helmet, I guess.

Shock to the system, but all I see is the car getting closer. Wheels heading my way.

Jump up. Grab the bike and run to the curb. Embarrassment sets in before the blood starts to flow.

Scrapes and cuts up and down my arm; layer of skin left on the street.

Words flow fast looking for reassurance: Areyouok? Areyouok? Areyouok?

Fine. But your eyes still tell the story.

We ride on, not making it further than than Roncee.

Snooty coffee shop to order drinks before I mess up their restroom. Brown paper towels are not conducive to first aid.

You feed me some cookie and some tea, helping me through as the adrenalin wears off and soreness sets in.

I will never forget how your eyes still told the story
of what you would do if.

Memories Pt. 2

A cool autumn afternoon.

Pingle's Fun Farm near Clarington.

She introduced me to apple picking. Ripe old age of 33 and never picked an apple 'til that day.

Bags full we climbed on the wagon for a hay ride; tickling kids with straw.

Next stop pumpkin patch. 3 year olds love picking pumpkins.

Into the barn for fudge and hot chocolate.

Back of the van, sleepy on the way home.

Memories Pt. 1

A warm spring day.

I had to close at work, so I had to leave to drive to Oakville in the afternoon.

We met at High Park and went for a walk.

Lay on the grass under a tree at the top of a hill for what felt like forever.

Content.

My head in her lap. Looking at the clouds. We laughed and people watched.

We were so close. So together.

I was in love with her then like I am now.

Alone...

As soon as it began, it is done.

Where do I go from here? That is a question with too many answers and my mind is too full of thoughts and feelings that I can't even process past today.

There are times when my memory is a curse. Not being able to forget things has been very useful, but not now. Now it is like being locked in a very small room with a swarm of angry bees; buzzing around me, stinging where they can.

First kisses, soft touches, smiles, words.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Parks and clouds, beaches and laughter.

Buzz, buzz.

Bundling up under blankets on cold nights.

Buzz.

All of them just as if they were yesterday.

get a job in an industry where a smile is not required...

The good that I am going to do... is much more than the good I have done.

This I have to believe in.

Have to...

Where would I be without.